Hypnosis- Below the belief. Let me show you how it works.

Hypnosis allows you to have the memories without the attaching emotions that came along with it. We process the scene with an adult perspective; however, understanding is the real power of the transformation. 

Five years have passed since I last felt what it was like to walk on eggshells every day for 15 years. What felt like an eternity in hell, is now just a memory. I can’t believe the person that I was. It would be days, weeks and even months in mind games, confusion, endless loops of the silent treatment, bread crumbing, unworthiness, rejections and affairs. Thank God, I only remember those days. I no longer remember how it actually felt in my body. I don’t connect the two anymore. I have finally figure out how to process the emotions that I was feeling and no longer do I feel them in my body. The constant hum of an energy I couldn’t escape.

I no longer remember what it felt like to crawl into bed with this person, even though we were together for 15 years. I remember nothing. This is not me avoiding either. It just doesn’t affect me anymore. When we were together, I would want him so badly to touch me, talk to me or even validate I was in the room. Years passed with no change. Hypnotherapy is what stopped all this madness. I spent days doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If I loved him enough, if I did even more than the previous day, would today be the day he saw my value and gave me the love I so desperately wanted.

People say that it takes time to heal, I would argue that it takes awareness. Once you see the pattern and your beliefs don’t get in the way, you are then able to move on. Truly move on. Through this I learned that I never did love him. It was fear, dressed up as love.  I was raised believing that I had to prove my love or they leave. Do what they want or they leave. Your needs don’t matter. Be the good girl and put others needs ahead of yours. Don’t ask for anything. This was normal life for me. A deep belief I could not see. Funny thing about beliefs is the same ones that keep us safe a child, hold us back as adults. They are our blind spots. We all have them. What we expect from our partners and careers are unconditional love, security and support. Yet we lack to give it to ourselves. The things we are searching for are the things that we are not giving to ourselves.

I have learned that I don’t want unconditional or conditional love. Unconditional love to me means, I can do what ever I want and you will still love me and won’t leave me. Conditional love to me means, if you love me this way, I give you this or that. What I have figured I want, is a love that talks, listens and works things out for both partners. We allow mistakes and growth with accountability. If you don’t have that, ask yourself, is this love? Maybe you are not in it for love. Understand that too. Real love is the glue that holds the relationship together. When your fights pull you in instead of push you apart. I have only been in one relationship where this happened. What an amazing feeling to connect with someone that actually wants to resolve things. To grow together. That does not mean to use all my vulnerability as weapons, but does everything to protect them as we navigate a new path. Weapons don’t stop the fight. History shows us that. Bigger guns don’t win the war; it’s the surrender of the other side. The knowing is, that the other side will stop at nothing. Why spend your time waiting for someone to understand you, when all they do is hear themselves. They don’t want to see your side or get to a resolve.

I’m sure right now you could close your eyes and think back to a time when another person was so angry, out of control or even being in a cycle of the silent treatment. Maybe you feel stuck in a job or a life style you can’t find a way out of.  Stop for one second, I know that you can feel that energy brewing in your body as you remember. It could be a pit in your stomach, a tightness in your chest, burning in your heart or swirling in your head. The reason you still feel that, is because you still haven’t processed that situation. When you learn how to embody emotions you can feel the feeling, name it and let it go. The feeling is telling you, that something isn’t right. You don’t know how to articulate and then take action to resolve. We bush it under the rug, we ignore and avoid. However, it never truly goes away.

Practice going within. Recall those moments you keep thinking about. Here’s how. Close your eyes, If you can. Imagine that scene. You are not reliving it, just observing it this time. See yourself in that space. Freeze every thing around you. Focus on you as that child, young adult or adult. Ask that other version of you, what do you feel right now? Name all the feelings. Feel them in your body. Where are they? Now ask yourself, what does that other version of you need in that moment? Did you need validation? Understanding what was going on? Protection? Love? Attention? Affection? Maybe all of these. The people in your life at that moment couldn’t give you any of those. Yes, that sucks. This isn’t saying they are horrible humans and yes in some situations it very well could have been a horrible human doing horrible things. That doesn’t mean it has to keep you locked into a past that keeps your frozen. This is how to get out and move on. Now, imagine walking up to that child, young adult or adult version of you. Be the adult in room now. Take that version and give them what they needed. It doesn’t matter that it was 20 years ago or longer, it doesn’t matter if it was yesterday. Time is not liner. Talk to that version as if you are the best friend, the parent, or their hero. Give them what they needed back then. It could be words of affirmation. It could be you giving them a hug. It maybe you are picking them up and taking them out of the space and placing them somewhere safe. A place where that never happens again.

Now that your other version is safe. It now has understanding, love, support. Feel those feelings in your body, they can now disappear. You took control. You can breathe. You can relax. You can do that from now on. You knew that wasn’t right back then. You believed what you felt and kept living it out, but unaware how it has been affecting you. You now understand you can be the adult. You can control situations and your life going forward. You are not waiting for someone else to rescue or save you. You can make sense of your past and heal. The most amazing thing that happens now, you will handle situations differently. The old version of you is changing. You may not see it today, I can assure you the next time you are hit with something, your body will react different. You will not put up with things you did in the past. It is as if a line has been drawn. You did that. You are healing your inner child. Standing up for what you know is right. Learning how to parent yourself. You can now let your inner child grow up as an adult and make choices with an adult mind that hasn’t been stunted by past trauma or beliefs.

I can understand why people are so terrified to look back into the past. They are afraid of what they don’t want to relive or feel again. You could be scared to confront the unknow. I help shine light onto darkness that has kept you frozen. The clarity and awareness are the true freedom in life. You are no longer carrying the emotions. You give them back to the ones that gave them to you. I challenge you to see that emotions actually have weight in your body and when you let them go, you feel lighter, less burdened. Stop sacrificing your life and surrender to your future. Fetch a life that you want to keep living, not forgetting.